When my oldest was little I watched as friends and family held large celebrations for their children. On the one hand I completely agreed! Celebrate yourselves and your baby, you were lucky enough to get to the other side of birth with a human to raise. AND you made it through year one. Celebrate!

That said, as my second, third, and fourth children arrived I’ve come to change my mind on birthdays. Yes, they should be celebrated. And yes parents should be recognized and supported for all the unpaid care giving. And sure, we should each have our own day, a day that is about us.

Should the world shut down, no. Should parents take off work, should kids stay home from school, should each year be marked with fireworks… probably not. I really think there is more joy to be found in simplicity than extravagance. But I’m just going to share where I’ve landed on this topic, and you do you folks!

We’ve decided that each birthday our children should wake up to some decoration. Its usually just a simple rainbow bunting that we use every year (its felt) and for every birthday celebration. We have a birthday ring, similar to this, where we put candles, photos, and collected wooden items. And then we make a food. Sometimes its a whole meal, sometimes its a birthday cake.

They do get gifts, one from each person in our immediate family. I encourage our children to make the gifts for us and each other. If they cannot think of something, I encourage them to make a card and write something in it. I’m likely biased but my kids make some of the best cards!

We learned the idea of simple card making from our preschool back in Texas. It was both Waldorf and Montessori education for children under 5. Starbright was a lovely place, and we miss Ms. Denise, Ms. Danielle, and Ms. Michelle – and most definitely Ms. Ariel. I learned so much from so many of the women at that school!

Now you might ask, do we have parties? Sometimes. They get to choose if they want an experience or a party. Its different every year. Sometimes they have 2 friends and a spy adventure party, sometimes they have 6 friends and the craft the whole time. When they choose adventure its been museums, trips, aquariums, and more. We also tell our children that party or experience they shouldn’t expect gifts from anyone, that presence is truly a present.

Obviously the biggest cost for us is the party or the experience. It feels nice to let them decide what fits the budget. And as they get older we do share the budget. It feels like deciding and sharing the number with them can be exciting and also teach them some budgeting in the process.

Now, you might ask, have you ever gone overboard. Um, yes. Guilty. One of my children didn’t have anything but cake for a number of years, due primarily to the pandemic, but there were other things too. So when we had the chance we went big. Balloon numbers in the yard, HUGE party at the local park, and several special birthday treats. Just sharing, because its OK if we don’t do things the same every time and every year. We’re human.

So yeah, that’s birthdays for us. How do you celebrate birthdays?